She who must be obeyed is close to fluent in English, but on occasion it all goes wrong.

When I updated my iPhone to 3.0 firmware, she decided she didn’t want me hacking her phone yet. This evening we were sitting in a restaurant having dinner and I was showing her the new search function.

“That’s very good”, she announced to the cafe full of diners, “when we get home I want you to update my spermware”.

We got some strange looks.