Recent arrival Jerry, he of the driving licence acquisition, has now settled in and, as befitting a man on a pension, has started playing football; with inevitable consequences.

So off down to Bangkok Pattaya Hospital with a torn calf muscle and a pain in his lower back. The doctor calls for an X-Ray of the right side of his back and off he trots (or rather, hobbles) to the radiology department where the right side of his torso is X-rayed.

At this point, an error occurs when a sticker is placed upon the X-Ray, indicating that this is the left hand side of the body. However, to anyone with any medical training, it would be clear that this is a right side image, with the offset of organs such as the heart and liver making it obvious.

The highly trained and massively expensive staff at Bangkok Pattaya Hospital study the X-Ray and indeed notice that this is not a normal X-Ray of the left side of the body. There can only be two reasons for this disparity:

1. Some dickhead has incorrectly labelled the X-Ray as being “Left” rather than “Right”
2. This devious foreigner has re-arranged his organs to deliberately confuse hospital staff. The fiend.

So which option do they choose?

A nurse hurries up to Jerry and asks “have you had an operation to move your heart to to the other side of your body?”

Read that again. She actually said that. A nurse. At the most expensive (and useless) hospital in Pattaya. They do operations, your life may be in their hands. Don’t get sick.

P.S. Not just a nurse. The radiologist also expressed concern that Jerry’s liver was very swollen (because there is more liver on the right hand side, and if you thought you were looking at the left….). Idiot.