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Screwing like rabbits

Off to Central to raid the food hall to purchase essential ingredients for she who must be obeyed’s ham fussilli surprise, the surprise being that it doesn’t always have ham in it.

While there we take little sister to visit the much advertised “pet show” on the ground floor. We find a stall offering an assortment of dogs with well-scrambled genes, a sad looking terrier in a 1930’s look bathing suit, and a series of cages containing distressed wild animals which those with no compassion might be inclined to keep as a “pet”.

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At the end of the pathetic display there were a couple of bored looking birds.

I assumed they would be nailed to their perches, but they were free to fly anywhere. I suggested a quick circuit of the Central ladies wear section where they could crap extensively over the designer dresses while the public address system played the theme from the Dam Busters; but the response was a feeble squawk. Where are the radical birds of yesteryear?

Thoroughly underwhelmed by the “pet show”, we moved away, but then chanced upon a breakaway section dedicated to rabbits. There were rabbits is cages, rabbits in boxes and, best of all, about twenty rabbits hopping around on real grass in an enclosure.

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Rabbits are great. I’ll bet even Richard Dawkins doesn’t know how evolution threw together this floppy eared, nose-twitching, bouncing disaster of an animal; but once two had evolved, they had no trouble churning out millions more; because rabbits like shagging.

The shop putting on the display was called something like “Happy Bunny”, but it should have been called “Horny Bunny”, because rarely a minute went by in the enclosure of shame (later dubbed “the porn pit”) without at least one rabbit attempting, and often succeeding, in mounting another rabbit. There was a small white bunny that was after everything. He even tried to conquer a large fluffy rabbit at least four times his size, a triumph of lust over logistics.

It was shag central and the reactions of those who came to see the cute bunnies was varied. Most of the Thais laughed and pointed. Young children were told that the bunnies were “just playing”; a phrase they could remember and use back at their parents once they reached their teenage years and were caught at it behind the sofa. There was a elderly couple on holiday from somewhere like Bournemouth, the sort who normally amuse themselves by writing letters to the Daily Mail expressing outrage. “They shouldn’t let the rabbits do this sort of thing” they whined, as if they expected some bromide to be mixed in with the feed to spare them any embarrassment.

Best of all was the fat, tattooed lout with a beer belly and a Singha vest. He loudly exclaimed to his bar girl friend “Hey look, he is doing what I was doing to you this morning!! Haha!” She gave him one off those killer looks and responded with “but I bet he didn’t need to take a little blue pill first.” They left rather quickly.

Rabbit sex is great, I am going back to watch again tomorrow.

This Post Has 6 Comments
  1. Re the rabbits shot … don’t believe I have ever see you cut quite so many things in half in one go, while the ISO was not quite quick enough to stop the cute little thing bottom left turning into a furry ball .. hardly Spike standard … you didn’t by any chance stop off for a little something after raiding the food hall did you??

  2. I’m disappointed. I thought from the headline that this would be an honest ‘journalist-in-the-field’ account of life in Walking Street. Needless to say the number of hits on Pattaya Days are probably up .. and anyone thinking of visiting Thailand is now off to Singapore.

  3. Billy, the partial rabbits are symbolic of the human condition, and the blurring represents the fragility of life in the universe. Alternatively, yes it is crap. However, you have to work on your photographic terms; changing the ISO would not improve the blur, and you can’t make ISO “quicker”. Good attempt though.

    Jock, I expect almost any headline would lead you to hope it somehow referred to life on Walking Street.

  4. I was surprised that this post didn’t attract more comment.Your statement that “rabbit sex is great…” is disturbing. Are you commenting as a voyeur or as a participant? Please clarify.
    Also, did you go back?

  5. Voyeur, they would not let me join in. Yes, stung by Billy’s hurtful, although technically inaccurate remarks, I went back the following day to get a better photo; but Central was Bunnyless.

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