Most of the powered craft on the waters around Pattaya are piloted by morons. The jetskis are piloted by drunken morons, and the boats which carry tourists are piloted by individuals who may or may not be under the influence of mind-altering substances, but they are certainly morons. So it is of little surprise that a boat full of tourists heading out from Pattaya to Koh Larn managed to drive head on into a boat heading back from Koh Larn. The tragic result was two people dead and fourteen injured.

Details are sketchy, and as Pattaya One News Online reported “we expect further updates in the coming days as Pattaya is coming to terms with a boating accident which will undoubtedly lead to a major overhaul of safety procedures for pleasure boats and speed boats and possible criminal charges against the boat operators involved in the accident”.

Excuse me a moment.

Hahahahahahahahaha.

“A major overhaul of safety procedures for pleasure boats and speed boats”. As far as I understand it, there are maritime procedures; but those involved, even if they are aware that they exist, certainly have no intention of following them. Boat drivers are meant to be tested and licenced; but none of them are, because it would cost money to train them. So we probably don’t need new procedures, we need existing procedures to be enforced. That’s never going to happen. Like traffic laws, these things exist purely as a mechanism for extracting cash from those who choose not the follow them. If we all followed all the laws in Thailand well, it wouldn’t be the Thailand we know and love. The downside of this approach is, of course, that more people die.

“Criminal charges against the boat operators involved in the accident”. Yeah right. When a bus crashes because the brakes have failed due to crap maintenance, it’s the driver who gets banged up. If anyone is made a scapegoat, it will be the underpaid, untrained moron who drove the boat, not the fat cat who owned it and failed to make sure the operation was safe.

Events like this, be it a burning hotel, a bus crash or a sinking boat, all have a similar outcome. Much initial indignation and wringing of hands, with a token fall guy locked up for a couple of days. Promises that there will be drastic remedial action to ensure that such a tragedy never happens again. Then nothing is done until it happens again.

Repeat ad nauseam. Mai pen rai. (six words, three languages. I am so international)