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Songkran sucks


What the hell are you two so happy about?

I am sure Songkran is a joyous occasion in many parts of Thailand; but in Pattaya it sucks.

If you are in Bangkok, or almost anywhere else, there are a couple of days of soaked chaos and then life gets back to normal. Unfortunately, the official day of mayhem in Pattaya is not until the 19th; long after everywhere else has dried out and gone back to work. Some people use this as an excuse to chuck water around for eight days or more.

I have no problem with the day itself. If you venture outdoors on the 19th, you are going to get wet; and I have done just that in previous years. Armed with a waterproof camera and a change of clothes in the car, I have wandered the streets of Pattaya and had a good time.

The problem comes in the week before the official day. The vast majority of the people in Pattaya just want/need to get on with normal life during this period; but their are a small army of dickheads who are determined to fuck up things for their own enjoyment. And the embarrassing thing is that these dickheads are mainly foreigners.

Of course there are some Thais playing early too. There is a gang of small kids splashing water in my soi; but they can be easily avoided or, as a last resort, run over. And if you demonstrate to the Thais that you are nicely dressed and not really up for a soaking at this time, they will leave you alone.

Not so the inbred, tattooed, fuckwits that take up station outside the bars on walking street, Beach road and second road. To them, this is Songkran and everyone is a target; irrespective of the willingness of their victims.

Yesterday, in the space of a few hundred yards, I saw incidents that made my blood boil. First, an old couple, smartly dressed, walking down the road minding their own business; until the arseholes outside a bar tipped a bucket of water over them. The old lady was soaked and close to tears, the old gentleman was shaking with anger. Their attackers just laughed.

A little further down the road a Thai lady on a motorbike was going or coming from work; smartly dressed in some kind of uniform. Drenched and mocked; her impression of foreigners was forever ruined.

And finally a young couple with a baby in a pushchair. All three soaked, pushchair awash and baby screaming.

I have nothing but contempt for these scum; but as I am an ancient, weedy wimp, there is not much I can do about it. But I do wish them a face-full of faeces infested water at some point in the proceedings. Meantime, I shall continue avoiding all public places (including on the 19th as I no longer have a waterproof camera); until this Songkran nonsense is over.


This kid dampened my T-shirt. Five years on and they have yet to find his body.

This Post Has 13 Comments
  1. I am hearing you – Pattaya for all its positives is also a massive wanker magnet. self – deleted rest of my post.

  2. Agree Spike. I had one day of fun followed by 3 months of treatment for Conjunctivitis after some contaminated water got into my eyes .. Heineken eased the pain and irritation somewhat !

  3. On behalf of the tattooed not all of us are fuckwits. Some of us do show some logic and reason outside of sitting through hours of pain to get inked. As for the rest of your description you do describe 90% of the punters in Pattaya right now which is why I avoid. I have a deep seeded fear of jail cells and I would not likely hold back from attempting to inflict bodily harm on anyone that randomly soaks me in water when I am clearly not participating.

    1. Spanky, you are neither inbred nor a fuckwit; in which case your tattooed state is irrelevant for the purpose of this categorisation.

  4. being stuck in your apartment not wiling to venture out to get some food while starving is not much fun.will NEVER visit pattaya during songkran again…grown up men behaving like kids(ive got mated whos served in afghanistan half these idiots age,they really need to grow up)as for the girls,no wonder they are all desperate for money..playing watergames for over a week when i thought they were in pattaya for earning..the mothers are looking after their children it seems for them to act like idiots

  5. I went for dinner nice clothes jomtien to Pattaya in songtoew drenched straight away and white shit all over my clothes. Fucking wankers in Pattaya who are adults acting like kids pathetic. Should be regulated like bangkok 3 days enough.
    Lost me spending my cash in Pattaya straight back to quite jomtien.
    Dickheads with too much time on their hands. No wander they say thais cant learn English fluently because their brain is too immature.

  6. I’m here now and I detest it. I went to Patong wiyh my young children it was westerners who a squire red us in eyes and also.drenched my young son 4yo. I called one a faggot my Rage was up there. Now I see this goes for days. The thais I respect and let them do.it they have a reason the fellow tourists fuk you cunts .

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