The latest in my trilogy of “suck” posts (there may be more) and today I return to a topic close to my heart and even closer to my trachea, my buggered thyroid.

It’s been a few weeks now since I attempted to murder it. Since that time I have been chucking down handfuls of pills every day, including a triple dose of thyroid suppression pills, beta blockers, and a little white pill the purpose I which I forget (memory booster?).

The combined assault from the radioactivity and the suppression pills seems to be working because I feel I have now moved from being hyper thyroid to the less obviously named (unless you are a whizz at ancient Greek) hypo thyroid.

Symptoms include feeling depressed and I can confirm that I feel very depressed. Things I have to be depressed about: None. Things I am depressed about: Everything. I mean really, whats the point of living? And the cat has vomited. Again. Fuck, I’m so miserable.

Next up in the symptoms list is a lack of energy. Just was well that it is Songkran and I can’t go out and do much, because I wouldn’t if I could. Remember the polo shots I took more than a week ago? Still not processed. Some crucial documents to draft for the condo committee? Not so crucial that they can’t wait until tomorrow (repeat daily). Stuff I have accomplished over the past week: Nothing. If I wasn’t so depressed I would worry about it.

Never mind, my lack of energy allows me time to address another symptom; sleepiness. This one is easy to handle. I just lie down on a conveniently flat surface and take a nap; several times a day. I wake up refreshed, depressed and unwilling to tackle anything, which means I usually turn over and have another snooze.

Anyway, I need plenty of rest during the day because my nights are interrupted by symptom number four, muscle cramps. The usual target is a leg and I wake up screaming whilst extending the cramped leg in a vigourous fashion. Not much fun for the cats who are sleeping at the end of the bed. Poised to flee when they hear the scream, they find themselves being kicked across the room into the wall. Our relationship is becoming strained.

No so my relationship with She Who Must Be Obeyed who declared “I don’t care if you’re hyper or hypo, I will still love you”. Which was nice but didn’t stop me trying to remember which way I should slash my wrists to be totally effective. But then I decided I would find out the answer to that tomorrow because I needed a nice little nap first.

Thyroids suck, and it’s two more weeks before I visit the doctor again.