Pattaya has a deserved reputation for sleaze and vice. But if you actually live here, and have no interest and sleaze and vice other than as a spectator sport; Pattaya can be a reasonably civilised place place to live (and of course, if you have a pathological interest in sleaze and vice; you will be very happy here).

But try telling that to someone from Phuket. Oh no, Phuket is the place to be. With massively expensive housing and a better class of tourist, people in Phuket see their island as a much more desirable destination. But it’s not going so well at the moment.

The annual spate of drownings seems to be exacting an even higher toll this season; and the carnage on the beaches has been supplemented by two deaths on a white water rafting trip.

Two Canadian sisters have been found dead in their hotel room in a condition that indicates poisoning of some sort.

A sixty year Australian woman, walking in a group near her hotel at 22:30 was stabbed and killed in a robbery attempt. The same evening a British man was also stabbed; but survived.

And if all that is not bad enough, the Phuket Chamber of Commerce has warned that a plague of flies could be about to overrun the island. Mountains of garbage landfills are being blamed for the increase in the buzzing blighter population.

Sounds like a wonderful place; but I think I’ll stick with Pattaya for now.