Went I started this humble enterprise, I was fairly sure I was going to have to deal with my share of the arseholes who frequent the wide wide world of web.

But the actual experience has been much more positive than expected. Sure, there have been the spammers, but the tools in WordPress have taken care of almost all of those, more than 105,000 spam comments to date. I just pop into the spam folder every so often and mass-delete. But apart from the feeble spam dicks, most of the comments on this site have been a fun addition to whatever nonsense I have chosen to share. And to those who do comment, a very small percentage of visitors, thank you; I love you all.

Apart from comments on posts, there are regular missives via the Contact page. Most of these are from people who just want to say how they stumbled on the site while looking for transvestites and have decided to stay because they enjoy it (they don’t actually mention the transvestites; but I know, I just know). Such remarks are always welcome, so thanks for that too.

But occasionally, I get something that is a little less friendly, like a recent contact that was headed: “WHERE ARE YOU LOCATED?”

OK, that’s shouting, and there is no need to shout. Let’s see what Mr. Shouty, also known as “Don in Pattaya” wants.

His message read:

I can NOT find ANY directions to your shop in any of your material on the internet. PLEASE PROVIDE.

Well, he said “please”, which was nice; but there was also more shouting going on, which wasn’t. And what the hell is he on about? He can’t find directions to my shop in any of my material on the internet? Whereabouts, in any of my material on the internet, would anyone obtain the impression that I had a shop? What am I selling? Cameras? Cats? Handbags and shoes (admittedly, we do have enough stock of those to open a small department store)?

If there had been less shouting, maybe a polite response would have been in order, explaining that there had been a misunderstanding and I didn’t actually have a shop; but if he cared to meet me in the alley behind my condo while my wife was at work, I could do him a range of quality ladies footwear in size 7.

But the shouting changed the game, so I replied with:

Soi Ari Somchai; next to the 7/11. What are you interested in, our stocks are limited?

Expected this would keep him busy for a while because there is no such place as Soi Ari Somchai; but it’s been three weeks so expect he is not going to respond and tell me what he thinks I am selling.

Still, while we are on the subject and having just had to clean up some vomit, anyone want to buy a cat?