Given my age, having one smelly armpit as my only concerning health problem should be something to celebrate; but it did concern my wife. She has a nose like a beagle (ability, not visual appearance) and expects her husband to smell like a summer garden at all times, and not like the compost heap on the other side of the fence.
I shower twice a day, use expensive deodorant, and normally I am like a whiff of something wonderful as I glide around the house. But in the last week my left armpit has become a little stinky, “like a wet dog” according to she who must be obeyed; and any amount of showering failed to remove the odour.
Something had to be done and the wide wide world of web offered a number of solutions; one of which was to apply baking soda after showering. Interesting. It just so happens that we have a stock of baking powder that we use to clean vegetables (a tablespoon in water and a good soak), so I took some into the bathroom and stuffed it up my armpit after showering. Problem solved, although the floor of the bathroom now looks like I have a cocaine habit.
Encouraged, it was back to the web for my other current concern, green nails. Since taking up daily swimming, both my thumbs have taken on a greenish hue, and the toenails look like they might join in soon. This, as all we Google doctors know, is called pseudomonas aeruginosa and can be cured by several months taking pills which will destroy the fungus and may also destroy your liver.
So I sought more home grown remedies and found people that had been helped by smearing Vick on their nails to form a barrier before immersing their hands in water, and also soaking the infected fingers in a solution of apple cider vinegar and Listerine every day for 10 minutes (how do people discover these combinations?). So it was off to Boots for the Vick and Listerine (already had the vinegar) and then gave the nails a good Vick coating before my daily swim. No problem with this except when I got water in my eye and wiped it away with a sticky Vicky finger…
Post swim and I dunked my thumbs in the recommended solution. After ten minutes my thumbs were blue, apparently I should have bought the original Listerine and not the blue variety; but that’s the price you pay when you are existing on the frontiers of medical research.
Next week, how to cure a broken leg with a sweet potato.