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Pattaya’s Glastonbury

  • January 7, 2018

Every year there is an event on the outskirts of Pattaya called Wonderfruit. I had never been, because it was prohibitively expensive and appeared to be attended by the type of people who claim to be travellers, when they are in fact just tourists who haven't washed their hair for a month and are wearing their mum's old clothes. But in the interests of research and photos, we went along…

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Who’s the consultant?

  • January 3, 2018

Today we made a return trip to the hospital where the highly trained heart surgeon had dictated that I should take statins to manage my heart condition; and I had taken the statins home and thrown them in the bin. Because I am not a complete idiot. He had also given me beta blockers which have been useful at masking the fact that I have a partially fucked heart, so…

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The best new year

  • January 3, 2018

We were asleep by 2230 and woke up refreshed to a new year the following morning; best way to avoid all the nonsense. So that's the "festive season" out of the way until the Xmas songs start again in the malls around September. January 2018 has a couple of notable events in my trivial existence: Life has dictated that I have had limited quality time alone with The Son (and…

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An impossible request

  • December 29, 2017

The company where I selflessly dedicated 32 years of my working life rewarded me with a paltry pension when they threw me, too early, on the scrapheap of redundancy (to be fair, I did ask them to). Every so often they get in touch and ask me to confirm I am still alive, and such a request arrived on Boxing Day. It was reasonable enough; in fact so reasonable as…

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Not Ayrton Senna

  • December 29, 2017

There have been accusations over the years that this site is, far too often, lavatorially focused. Guilty as charged. I leave it to others to debate the challenges of the world economy and the horrors of the spunktrumpet currently tweeting bollocks from the White House; someone needs to keep a focus on the things that matter. Like poo. And so... Having recovered from my egg inflicted food poisoning, I looked…

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A rare visit to the bowl

  • December 27, 2017

'Twas the night of Xmas and my wife observed: "In our fifteen years together, I've never seen you throw up before." I would have taken time out to agree with her if I hadn't been fully committed to vomiting into the toilet bowl. For it was true. The last time my stomach let me down was more than thirty years ago when I was working in the Hague and was…

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A walk down 11 Street

  • December 26, 2017

Just over a year ago I bough the Olympus 12-100mm lens and it was the perfect companion to my E-M1 II. Then I sold the E-M1 II. So then I sold the 12-100mm. What to do with the cash? Buy some clothes for the wife? Invest in paint and decorate the house? Haha! Another lens of course, this time the Laowa 7.5mm; an ideal choice for my trip to Chernobyl…

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Bum! Humbug!

  • December 25, 2017

I am reliably advised by she who must be obeyed that today is Xmas day. Should be a quiet day to pop to hospital and get a doctor to check out a rather annoying haemorrhoid. Before that we have to carry out the annual cat humiliation exercise, which she endures with surprising good grace. And happy Xmas to you, said with as much sincerity as I can muster with my…

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Houston, we have Ketosis

  • December 20, 2017

For the last xx years of my life (all of it), my body has used carbohydrates for fuel. Then, a few weeks ago, I decided that I had inflicted enough damage on myself with carbs and undertook to make my body burn fat instead. This is not an easy transition. First of all you have to dramatically limit your carb intake, to 25 grammes a day or less. Given that…

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What’S UP

  • December 15, 2017

My despondency at no longer being able to windsurf is partly due to missing the experience of whizzing across the waves, but also the loss of just being out on the water, a place where I am happy; irrespective of the monstrous collection of shit and detritus that is no doubt lurking beneath the surface of Pattaya bay. A solution would be to return to stand up padddleboarding (SUP). I…

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