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Eleven steps

Our refurbished Thai kitchen is bright and clean and sparse, which is how it should be; but it is not an improvement if you are our cat. Allegedly.

She who must be obeyed was insistent that the cat enjoyed sitting high up on the assorted rubble that passed as a kitchen, and we had to provide an equivalent facility; and oh look what I found on Lazada, some cute steps!

Not such a cute price however and I announced that I, Spike the carpenter, would construct such steps! I should have pondered for a moment and admitted that my expertise lay more in the blue plastic pipe arena; but it was too late and off we went to buy some wood.

My magnificent design was for a central stringer, with a series of steps of sufficient strength to support a 5 kilo cat and not much more. I sat down to design my eight step masterpiece. I had almost completed the plans when my wife announced “eight steps is not acceptable. Neither are six. After discounting the base and the top, the number of steps must be an odd number. Nine would be OK. No, hang on, eleven would be better because that is a dragon number”.

Stronger men would have queried why the number of steps for a cat ladder was important. More forceful men would have suggested that a dragon number was nonsense. More domineering men would have stuck with their design for eight steps. Me? Eleven steps it would be.

There then followed three days of sawing, screwing and sanding. I enjoyed the first twenty minutes and spent the rest of the time wishing we had bought from Lazada.

Here you can see the cat enjoying her new facility, except she is not because we had to lift her onto it and she immediately climbed down again. She may never go near it again. Still, my wife likes it and that’s the whole point of such enterprises.

This Post Has 4 Comments
  1. I can’t help but wonder if a small amount of reverse psychology might be called for here… For example, you could declare how much you enjoyed your project and then insist on the creation of vast, sprawling workshop from which to produce more creations…

    Top tips and much entertainment can be had courtesy of the “Third Coast Craftsman” channel on YouTube:-

    https://www.youtube.com/user/goodolmoose/videos

    To see something really cool being assembled, check out his woodworking workbench:-

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Va8tlFpnhRg

    For a dose of hardcore workshop porn, try the shop tour:-

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpyOjSWyim0

    Please note that this commentator accepts no responsibility for damage to fingers, thumbs or wallet that may occur as a consequence of reviewing the above-linked videos.

    1. If I lived in a country where a wide variety of wood was available at sensible prices, then this indeed a pursuit I would enjoy. I would have a wood turning lathe in the living room.

      1. That is a real surprise and quite a shame. I have no experience of Pattaya, only Phuket and Pang Nga, but in that general area it is impossible to drive any distance without passing a woodworking business of some kind. Now, it’s also fair to say that a great deal of that has already been fashioned into what we might generally describe as “tourist tat”. On the other hand, there also appear to be some possible outlets [at what price I can’t say] such as:-

        http://teaktimberphuket.com/
        https://phuketindex.com/aptrading/

        In fact, I expected you to say that the biggest issue wasn’t obtaining the timber, it was finding a source that wasn’t “blood timber” – i.e. wood from trees that were cut down illegally. With rare tropical hardwoods (teak, mahogany, rosewood) coming under increasing pressure and demand, I expected you to say that prices were prohibitive, or that supplies were jealously guarded by the trade.

  2. Just be thankful my cat didn’t adopt you – she’d be up them steps and all over ya roof in minutes. Coming down is the problem though!

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