With she who must be obeyed working all the time, we decided to sell her windsurfing board (which means we only have four left to play with), and with some of the proceeds we ordered a SUP.

It arrived today and was unpacked with the usual excitement at the club. Checked that the board has no scratches, even though it will have plenty after half an hour of use, and most importantly, ensured that there is a good supply of stickers in the bag.

Have to take a photo before I wreck it and get Craig to pose against it because he has much bigger muscles than me. Up close it is much bigger than I remember (I recall someone saying that to me once, but that is another story). It’s more like a small ferry than a surfing board. I wonder how I will manoeuvre it from my condo basement to the beach, and if I will have the strength to carry it back after several near-drowning incidents.
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There is also a paddle, and a strap to join your ankle to the board, so if you fall off you will not lose the board but you will lose the ligaments in your ankle. I also buy a life jacket; she who must be obeyed is not prepared to let me out on the water without one.

Included with the stickers is a small sheet entitled “Responsibility, Safety, Etiquette and Respect.” Having described some common sense behaviours out on the water, it closes with: “Let’s all do our part and spread the give respect and gain respect mantra every time we hit the water. Let others try your board and treat people like you would like to be treated yourself.”

Well yes, but if a drunken Russian tourist, of which there are many on the beach, suggests that he try my board, he will be treated to the ever popular ‘sod off you bastard’ mantra; albeit delivered in a respectful manner.