PATTAYA DAYS PRIVACY POLICY

1. Anything you send me is subject to being edited before publication to increase amusement value and/or to make Spike appear more sexually attractive to women.

2. Your e-mail address is safe with me You would have to torture me with very hot pieces of iron before I would divulge anyone's e-mail address, and even then I would mis-spell it. It's hard to spell correctly with hot iron rods up your bum. Allegedly.

3. Exceptions to 2: That very nice Nigerian chap with a lot of money to share and anyone selling Viagra or copy watches at low prices. Because I know you would want to receive an e-mail (several e-mails in fact) from such people.

4. Any abuse and I'll send the boys round. I know where you live. Approximately.

5. Of course, all the above is bollocks. Any mail you send will be treated with the utmost dignity and privacy. It's what the waste basket is for.

6. So, what are you waiting for? Mail me now.